here first. until we are there.

in which i spell moleskine properly

obviously, an attempt to win the lovely, drool-worthy moleskine from avalon.ph. but why not? With how my year’s been going, the worst thing I can do is not try.

If it’s a matter of gratitude, it would be that I’ve discovered worth in all its forms. Self-worth when you’re a woman is a tricky thing—there are so many places to mistakenly rest it on. Beauty, the love of someone else, accomplishment, rebellion, etc. etc.

But this year, it was about realizing what a peso really meant, and conversely what an hour of work truly entailed. Though this merits the derision of the enlightened, when you were raised a spoiled brat and suddenly that has to stop, it surprises me just how much it feels like someone’s truly pulled the rug from under you. And how a cliche, how cliche after cliche, seem to capture the awkwardness that is adulthood and how responsibility and money seems tied to that.

That it throws me off regularly, that it gives me focus (I want that and not that!), I am grateful for this awkwardness. Even if it really is so late in the game, and everyone seems to be getting into their stride.

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