here first. until we are there.

considering my self-absorbed status

it’s always so easy to escape into ‘academic’ solipsism and pretend that i am not looking at myself per se. but my ideas of the self. hahahahahaha.

no, but i encountered something about irony. (cue my father saying “Irony! Isn’t that whaat all modern novels are about!”) about how it really has become the mode of culture.

but he* traces it to the advent of tv and the culture of watching. to paraphrase: though television does pique the voyeuristic urge, a true peeping tom gets his thrills from watching someone who doesn’t know that they’re being watched. so this whole deal with television is one big *wink* *wink* thing with the viewer and the actor … and the director, and the crew, and the network, and the sponsors. which just gets bigger with shows that have the lead character talking to you, then you have parodies, then you have behind the scenes shows, then you have the news shows of celebrity dom, then you have shows like studio 60 which is supposedly giving us the behind the scenes of a parody show …. and ad infinitum.

which he then goes back to irony, and how it actually is tyrannical. he asks, “why can’t we mean what we say?”

(finally, a quote! actually a series of quotes!) “This is because irony, entertaining as it is, serves an almost exclusively negative function. it’s critical and destrutive, a ground clearing. Surely, this is the way our postmodern fathers saw it. But irony’s singularly unuseful when it comes to constructing anything to replace the hypocrisies it debunks.”

‘Most likely, I think, today’s irony ends up saying: ” How totally banal of you to ask what I really mean.”‘

of course, at a totally personal level, i resonate. layers and layers and layers of meaning.

i’m baking cookies.
i love you.
i hate you.
don’t leave me.
your loss.
i’m scared.
i don’t need you.
i don’t want to be alone.
soltiude is power.
i don’t think i was ever loved.

yikes di ba?

it must be simpler than this.

*edit
he being david foster wallace from his essay, “E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction” from A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again: Essays and Arguments because i heart him.

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One response

  1. i miss your cookies. 🙂

    July 18, 2007 at 6:55 am

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