here first. until we are there.

just trust me

i wonder what the sky’s been up to. it’s incredibly beautiful. anna and i saw the moon yellow and large saturday night. and yesterday while bringing papa to the airport the sky was blue even if the sun was going down. this beautiful rich blue.

there were moments this week when everything was just so … you are in my life. and this is who we are. and it’s beautiful. and i’m safe. and i want nothing more. but i want everything else too. and you. i want you. i want you in my life.

i just watched proof. wonderful wonderful movie.

even your depression is so mathematical

wow. sometimes i am really just one of the people in the world. we are all this way. we all feel this way.

we all have been on one end of an equation, thinking that just maybe that sign between us could be different — that it might feel better to be on that side —- and understanding each other.

but right now, i’m here. and that’s all i can really do.

(oh i can bring you brownies. or roast chicken.)

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