here first. until we are there.


before my actual entry, just something that popped into my head.

ning, you’re not that important. i mean, you are. but the world does turn without you. just because you’re feeling something doesn’t mean it’s happening. no really. you’re too old to think that the world ever or ever will revolve around you.


i feel like i’ve just gotten out of the water. I was hiding at the bottom of my sea, looking up at the sky. each star and cloud magnified and distorted by the waves. i may be dripping, but at least now i can see things for how they are.

little drama firecracker, time for bed. i think you’ve wreaked enough havoc for a while. my heart is enough to keep me occupied, it’s speaking in so many rhythms and images and languages that stillness is the only way to let things fall into place.


i was lucid for about an hour. now all i hear is lamb’s zero.


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